110: comic "tudung dan saya"

Aku bukan mau buka pekung di dada.
I only hope that this story can trigger some thoughts and maybe ignite some sense into who ever that's reading this.

Ini cerita pasal "tudung dan saya"

Aku mulakan dengan cerita masa kanak2.

that's my siblings and I in mommy's old yellow van.. Me sitting in front sebelah mama. We really liked to stick out our heads and feel the wind. Tapi aku lain sikit. I couldnt stand the wind blowing through my neck. until i was forced to cover my neck while going crazy against the wind heheh

okay. so, as I was growing up, I did not wear the tudung. I would only tie my hair; the hair did not bring any trouble back then. That is how I would look like through out my primary school years, until..

I got into a boarding school for my secondary education. I had to wear tudung. Aku tau itu adalah tuntutan agama. Tapi masa itu; I still hadn't really get it. you know. hmm

jadi aku begini:

But, *refer to picture kids in old-yellow-van*, it was not an easy thing to do for a person like me. Geli leher wey. teruk.

teruk macam mana?

the uneasiness that i felt could lead me to keep on looking down, my chin almost kept on sticking on my neck, or I would cover it (my neck) with my my hands, which at times would stress me out..kadang2 sampai aku sakit kepala.. :|

tu gambar x-ray.

Oleh sebab itu...

I wore tudung at my high school, but I took it off while I was back home in Sandakan.

Mak pun slalu tanya: "bila mau pakai tudung bagus2?"

tapi aku saja yang faham pasal 'penyakit' geli ni..

To be honest, I didnt want to take off my tudung because of my hair. Because, as you can see below: this was my real hair. back then.

Yep. the lion hair. Sebenarnya, aku selalu mengejutkan orang di asrama aku bila aku bangun pagi dengan wajah ini.

"In a way, I realized that I wore tudung because I wana hide the lion-hair. When actually I was dying to take it off...and because it's a 'must'.."

Jadi, that was what happened. Wearing tudung became only a habit. And because my hair was getting worse as I grew older, I always had my hair as a bun to hide the ugliness of it. Sampai my younger sister asked me, "why do you always have to look like a nanny?"

bongok.

ya..ia jadi habit.

A meaningless habit.

I know it was a meaningless habit because wearing tudung didnt stop me from doing evil things... :'(

dan hati aku menjadi kosong...kosong. *dan sesungguhnya, aku tau, dari sekolah lagi, fitrah manusia punya hati pasti rindu pada Penciptanya..aku masih terus mencari-cari*

[to be continued]

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okay. aku penat. nanti aku akan sambung next time yah. meanwhile, aku mau tunjuk W.I.P ini: