jawapan "ala cikgu, zaman sudah berubah" ni memang pernah diberi oleh anak murid ku sendiri kepada aku sendiri. Masa tu, aku ta tau lagi apa mau jawab.
In one hand, i do agree. yes, times have change. Students now are different from us when we were students because of the technology, surroundings, parents etc.
but in another hand, i thought....peraturan Allah masih sama kan. HE didnt say that now things have change, it is okay for us to do bad things right? hmmm oh well....
guru-guru, harap kita dapat bersabar selalu.
anggaplah kenakalan budak itu sebagai peluang kita utk mengumpul pahala; kalau kita pun ikut nafsu marah balik, mungkin pahala tu bertempiaran hilang.
nasihat utk diri. sebab aku lah yang paling selalu meng-amok. :'(
Allah Tuhan segala hati, pegang hati ku jangan biar lepas pada amarah.
Hari tu, aku kecewa dengan diri sendiri. sebab kononnya sudah berubah; tak mau marah2 murid suda...tapi lepas beberapa bulan, jadinya aku pemarah kembali...sungguh kecewa.
masa tu lah datang idea buat komik simple ni.
ini nasihat aku pada diri sendiri. sekarang ni tengah berusaha lagi untuk kembali bersabar. hidup ni, kalau mau jadi baik, memang susah...tapi setiap kesusahan akan ada kesenangan dan kemudian ada lagi kesusahan, ada lagi kesenangan dan seterusnya.
its either you want it, or not..
and how bad you want it.
Maafkan saya, hari ini saya pengen menulis lagi dalam bahasa kesayangan ku..walau aku kurang mahir tatabahasa nya yang tepat.
beberapa hari lalu, kami berbicara tentang sikap ku yang suka memberi pandangan dan pendapat kepada orang2 yang lebih 'atas' dari aku. lalu aku diberi nasihat oleh kakak (yang aku hormati)
"jangan...jangan digonggong bukit itu. tidak akan runtuh juga"
Aku faham sekali niat dan maksud kakak ku itu...walaupun aku kira, sebenarnya, maksud asal peribahasa itu jauh dari maksud kak...lalu aku dan rakan berketawa girang. bukan mengkritis siapa2. cuma beringat; aku mungkin cuma picisan. dan bukan tempatku mendongak langit.
nanti migraine sebab mendongak dan menggonggong lama sangat..
ps: sila interpertasi lukisan picisan ku sebaik nya ...tiada satu detail pun yang aku lukis tanpa sebab. sekian terima kasih, jumaat.
please dont get me wrong...I'm not against posting about your abilities and achievements on facebook (I do it too, to share bla~ and to promote bla~) but the thing is, ppl rely too much on facebook that they judge people based on it...just like in the cartoon strip ehehhe
and maybe, some times, people over-do it...sharing too much, i guess? but then again, the definition of "to0 much" also varies from different individuals.
on a different note, cant wait to post the next comic strip :) -- im feeling alive again yey!
As always, people will find things to ask you. On the positive side, they're just trying to make a conversation with you. which is good. I guess.
When you're single, people will ask "bila nak kawin?"
Then when youre married, people will ask "bila nak berbadan dua?"
Then when youre pregnant, people will ask "bila due?"
then when youre back at work, people will ask "eh, gemuk sudaaaa..." (not really a question though) hahahaah
and then, a few months later, youre still fat, people will ask "cikgu, sudah mengandung lagi ka?"
or "cikgu, Iyyad akan dapat adik suda?"
Hihihihi funny people. oh well, its a lovely country with friendly people. Alhamdulillah bumi ku aman.
aku malas mau layan migraine. jadi aku pergi skolah juga. kalau aku muntah, aku muntah di tengah padang perhimpunan.
aku conteng ni depan file aku. macam kira art saja. boleh la aku upload sebagai permulaan baru untuk sesi melukis2 di hujung tahun ini. Doakan aku supaya dapat kudrat yang cukup untuk letak idea atas kertas.
aaarghh i hate that i cant manage my time properly that i cant draw much. but here's a simple card i made to put on my table at school to remind myself of my family, my husband and my little one :)
i would love to do more of these cards in the future...cam best saja :)
and i think decorating my class is somewhat art, so this is what we came up so far...i'll put up more later (selagi mampu dari segi duit hahah) I forgot to take a picture of the front part of the class...there are some drawings inspired by "kucing the cat" by Fadli hamdan...hheheh i hope he doesnt mind :)
i think the purpose of doing all this is to help my students feel that class is somewhere comfortable and beautiful n fun..n i hope i can teach them to appreciate tidiness and be responsible to take care of the class cehhh hehehe
meanwhile...
keeps on eating away all the leaves of my flowers..terus botak pokok tu. bila tumbuh balik, ada balik caterpillar ni n eat away all the leaves again alaaa sedih....macam sedih nya aku nda dapat ikut mini-reunion kwn2 SMSLD 99-03...wuuuuwuuu
Look how THIS turned out? I think, despite the cropped edges, it looked fine :D and maybe, one day, when i have canggih phone, i'll put a self-drawn sticker on its back too
before anything, happy belated mother's day and happy belated teachers day too.
i've been bz marking exam papers for the past week..but before that, i was completing a commission by a friend. she asked for particular details in the doodle. she even gave me the list of things she wanted to be included in the drawing. sangat bersemangat! love that about her...heeh so all the things that you can see in the drawing is her idea...:D :D
i thought at first that this will make my job easier..but as it turned out, it was tougher. with the small scale n all.. but at last i figured it out n alhamdulillah she liked it (although she would prefer a bit more changes) huhu i learned that i should not take sketches lightly next time..huhu
so here it is...
then she wanted it to be coloured. i was so nervous coz i know i suck in colouring..but heck i give it a try anyway.. and tadaaa
in the mean time, im still trying to push myself to write again in my blog Pointless Pursuit (mmg rasa pointless da puunnn) n there's been a couple of drafts...but huh im old...n i need to read more stuff.
ni lagi satu commission untuk encik asrul. dulu dia ada tempah 1 doodle untuk print atas mug..sepanjang melukis tu, rasa macma tak puas hati saja..i tried really hard to try different things to doodle macam lace-patterns..tapi alih2 lace tu ja la yang different...yang lain sama saja...cuma lay out doodle ni berbeza...which turned out a bit serious..urghhh nasib baik encik asrul terima..
lepas ni, akan buat commission doodle dari rakan guru pulak.. harap2 lepas ni boleh dapat lebih banyak commission doodle lagi :) komik2 n ilustrasi2 dalam conteng2 sketchbook terpaksa tunggu lah huhuhu
being a mom myself has opened my eyes to a whole new perspective of my own mother..i love her more now..dan sedikit segan pd dia...n sedikit mcm bole friend2 gitu heheheh
i wana buy my mom all the things she wants...but she has more money than me...whenever i wana gv her money, she just giggled. tsk.
"i need something to do to distract me...anything will do..."
at times i feel like that...but most of the time, the answer is just inside home. kadang2, terfikir juga, kenapa aku selalu lupa bahwa ada 1 itu tempat aku mengadu, 1 escapism, 1 pekerjaan dan perbuatan yang boleh menenangkan aku..?
"Sufficient for me is Allah ; there is no deity except Him. On Him I have relied, and He is the Lord of the Great Throne." 9:129
love at first sight by ~sitiwaznahnaan on deviantART i draw this 3 weeks after labour. the image had been bugging my head and pushed me to draw it. so i did. the reason why i wanted to draw this scene was i wanted to show two things that came across my mind that time
to be honest, the first thing that i thought was: " oh my gosh, Ya Allah, there REALLY WAS a human being in me for the past 9 months!!" and that thought came out of my mouth: "wah, betul2 ada orang dalam perut ku..~!" *dalam keadaan sangat lemah dan longlai* n the nurses laughed...
but then i thought about:
1) the real love at first sight masa iyyad keluar, tali pusatnya berbelit2..dan apparently dia sangat berat bagi nurse tu (3.55kg) jadi dia simpan sekejap on my then empty belly...n whoa~ cinta pandang pertama sangat bila tengok iyyad..hati rasa kembang kempis saja. kepenatan dan kesakitan yang amat sangat tu hilang beberapa saat sebelum dia diambil semula dan nurse tu sambung kerja nya menjahit...perghh ok thats another story.
2) pantang the reason why i got to hold iyyad before he got cleaned up was tali pusatnya berbelit. dan aku hairan sangat, perkara pertama nurse tu cakap berkenaan tali pusat berbelit tu ialah "ni mesti suami kamu tidak berpantang ni..dia pernah lilit tualanya di lehernya kan?" i was too weak to answer. i meant to answer her this: "what in the world made u think that caused this?" kadang2 pantang2 ni boleh buat pening juga... :(
u see the two nurses i drew at the back, actually, it was more than two nurses...it was like a circus there...orang keluar masuk saja, and everyone who came in take a peek over what's "going on" huahuaaahahahah
ps: review ini ditulis selepas hanya 1kali membaca buku2 tersebut bagi menyampaikan perasaan genuine berkenaan content buku2 itu.
komik di atas tu betul2 tunjukkan apa terjadi masa parsel buku tersebut sampai ke rumah. Suami saya baca buku ke-dua dulu..dan langsung tidak menunjukkan apa-apa tanda amused...dia tidak ketawa, mahupun senyum.
tapi dia memang seorang yang serius. walaupun favourite channel nya ialah astro arena & warna, dia seorang yang jarang ketawa (apabila di rumah)..jadi bila saya asyik ketawa membaca buku pertama, dia jadi hairan. "apa la yang di gelakkan sangat tu, sayang..?" tanya nya..saya jawab "lucu ni buku, abang..eh, buku ke-dua tu tidak lucu kah?" oh sungguh skema ayat ku...
jadi saya pun jadi curious, saya baca buku ke-dua..dan saya pun tidak ketawa...senyum pun sikit-sikit saja. tapi yang memenuhi hati saya ialah perasaan kebangkitan-semangat..ookay fine i dont have any other word for it..rasa terharu? rasa berkobar2?..ntah la..
so, basically, the first book is funnier than the second book, but the second book is more...ermm whats the word--inspiring? but truthfully both are amazing, i enjoyed reading them. but if i may, the only bummer is that sesetengah lukisan 2-mukasurat 'terpotong' sebab binding nya..heheh
dan mungkin jg cara cerita ni di-bab-kan agak ganjil sedikit? nevermind..just my personal opinion..lagipun belum baca kali ke-2. i'm sure, my opinion will change on this :>
all that aside: I TOTALLY RECOMMEND THIS READING...hehehe untuk info lebih lanjut pasal buku2 ni, boleh datang SINI
putus asa ialah 'topik' yg slalu dtg dlm fikiran ak. it comes in many ways, in many forms. i gave up in several occasions, but Alhamdulillah, i never given up my life. although i hv thought abt it a few times in the past...im not proud of it.
as promised by Allah, kita akan d datangi dgn ujian2 dlm hidup ni. ujian2 ni lah yg akan buat kt perbaiki diri; if we see it through positive perspectives, that is...as they say; what doesnt kill you [should] makes you stronger, kan? tp, knp...knp kdg2, kt lemah semangat sgt...?
CONTOH mcm dlm situasi-situasi ni:
ak ckp ni utk dr sndr jg...beberapa minggu lalu pun ada lg bukti ak lemah smgt.aduhh...at times like that, i'd like to remind myself of one person whom i know has an iron heart..my momma hehe
ak harap ak lebih tabah bila suda jadi ibu ni...sbb aku tau, tugas seorang ibu jauh lebih mencabar...Allah, help me, guide me, forgive me...
Syukur, as some of u might have known/guessed, aku sudah selamat melahirkan puteraku Iyyad Shafwan bulan lepas. I am now officially a mommy. weird feeling. but i am happy!! Birthday kami cuma beza 4 hari~ hihi
dan syukur juga, aku sudah mula memegang pensel semula 2 minggu lepas, *walaupun pantang belum habis. haha this is very important to me, though i didnt think of it as that before...the first few weeks as a mommy was really tough, tougher than i thought. I sort of gotten into a 'short' phase of baby blues..dan melukis semula banyak membantu aku to get my head straight,..macam yg aku suda tulis di 'karya' di atas tu.
mulai dari post ini, aku akan cuba upload 'karya2' yg sudah aku siapkan :)
hidup di asrama di lahad datu, sabah memang mencabar. apa lagi masa tahun 90-an atau 80-an...aku respek la senior2 aku. sebab time aku (99-2004), bekalan air macam makin ok. walaupun masih lagi kadang2 terpaksa memanjat2 tangki lama, berjalan dari flat guru ke asrama (jauh gilak), mandi di sekolah, bangun tengah malam utk tadah air, aku rasa itu sudah cukup ok suda sebab mst jumpa juga air..lepas aku kuar, aku dgr junior2 aku suda makin best sbb bekalan air makin ok...
aku rasa, ini lah yg buat aku hargai air n pandai pakai air paling sikit utk banyak benda ..cuma semenjak banyak air betul ni (di rumah sendiri), aku makin lupa pulak..adehh hahaha
nah, baca sikit cerita: desperate times call for desperate measures 2: the penabak (pencuri air)
banyaaak lagi aku mau cerita..doa2 la inspirasi dan kudrat cukup utk memenuhi buku nota conteng2 ni n buku sketch2 aku yg lain.. :)
aku rasa aku nak buat lagi 1 siri lukisan...i think i should call it desperate times call for desperate measures. aku dapat ilham ni masa aku naik muak dengar alasan budak tidak mau pakai baju PJ tapi cakap baju diorang basah pastu ada pulak cakap kasut basah, jadi pakai selipar blablabla..budak2 sekarang ni agaknya kurang kreatif dalam menyelesaikan masalah...atau ka apa??..ntah la..aku cuba memahami..pastu aku mengaku; buku nota conteng2 ni memang bagi aku semangat dalam menconteng hal2 sekolah dan ibu2 :D
aku akan cuba recall semua bentuk desperate times masa ku di sekolah asrama...sekolah aku dulu banyak cabaran ..only semseldians sendiri yg faham hehehehehe
since i was soooo lost in self-pity a few days back, i decided to count my blessings (again) and remind myself of how grateful i should
Alhamdulillah. bersederhana.
kadang2 apa yg kita suka pun boleh jadi tidak baik utk kita n kadang2 apa yg kita benci pulak yg bagus utk kita. kadang2 apa yg kita rasa sebagai kekurangan, sebenarnya adalah kelebihan. dan kadang2 apa yg kita rasa kesedihan sepatutnya adalah 1 kegembiraan.
"honey, you know what...after seeing you, going through all this..from day one.." "...up til this point, it makes me think..." "...how come some people can be sooo mean to their mothers..." "..maybe they're just insane, no..?"
Aku sayang mama ku. Tapi aku rasa, aku mau hargai dia lebih lagi lepas aku lalui semua ni. I thought I understood how hard pregnant-hood is...sebab aku selalu dengar orang kan selalu cakap2 "bukan senang, amatlah susah, mengandung ni.."..tapi rupanya...it's beyond any stories...
Dulu, aku lihat orang lain mengandung, aku hairan kenapa diorang jalan huyung-hayang kiri kanan. pastu aku cakap dalam hati "kalau aku mengandung, aku akan cubaaa untuk tidak jalan begitu.."
YEAH RIGHT. IT'S only NATURAL!!!
my husband has a small brother aged 3+..hari tu, balik rumah mak mentua, an almost-7hour drive (more bumpy than smooth drive--huhu) i was already 8months.Sedangkan di sekolah pun, budak2 skolah (especially the lower form boys) sudah start mengolok (ejek) cara aku berjalan. huhu
so, its only normal that a curious 3+ year old would ask such thing. sbnrnya dialog sebenar tu terjadi begini:
Waz: iqbal (adik): "kak tua..." (he calls me this) waz: "ya..? knp iqbal?" iqbal: "kenapa kakak berjalan begini? waz: "sebabbb...kakak--sakit..."
Now that I am a 'penguin' myself, I really don't mind, actually. I love this 'costume'.
dulu, masa sekolah, aku pernah debate kan satu tajuk ni: "jack of all trades is better than master of one"..dari saat itu,aku selalu pikir2, aku ni 'jane' of 'some' trades and master of none kah?....trus down bila fikir macam itu...
lukis pun, boleh, tapi nda hebat.
jahit pun boleh, tapi huh! langsung nda hebat!
masak pun boleh, tapi nda hebat.
jadi cikgu!!!! langsung laahhhhhh epic fail! :( *sungguh negatif dan emo di pagi hari..)
bila bukak website2 'budak2' seni tempatan, rasa down lagi. rasa macam ..oh, i'll never be good enough ...haihhhhh
kemudian..beberapa hari lepas, aku terima buku conteng2 yg aku tempah online dari encik fadhli hamdan (salah seorang anak seni tempatan yg aku jeleeesssssss kannn). pastu aku ingat, aku nak lukis2 macam dia jugak pasal memori lama2: fokus dgn memori masa tinggal asrama di lahad datu dulu...tapi..dang~~ 2 jam aku pegang pensel tua aku..tak hasil apa2...
cepat2 aku tolak tepi. n buat muncung 2 inci. encik hubby nengok trus dah boleh agak sbb aku cakap: "hurm..sampai bila2 pun nda bole jadi 'hebat'.."
dia pun men'cuci' aku untuk 2 minit; cuba utk kata aku ni tak cukup berusaha lagi sudah mau cakap tak hebat..pastu dia suruh aku p tdur. rehat.
aku naik ke bilik, tapi aku bawa sekali buku conteng, pensil tua n pemadam aku. sudah siap2 mau tidur, aku bukak buku conteng2 tu (yg aku da balut dgn plastik heheheh semangat!) dengan ikhlas nya, aku lukis perkara pertama yg datang dlm perasaan aku ke atas kertas kuning yg menyembunyikan tulisan "sila conteng buku ini dengan sesuka hati"
